Forgiveness

I hadn't been to church in a few weeks. My best friend Whit and I started going to a new church back in February. She called me the other day to ask if I'd seen last week's email from the church, and I hadn't so I quickly skimmed it. The email basically said that we didn't want to miss Sunday's service because it would be a really great sermon on forgiveness, ending the message series they'd been doing called Revenge. The email kind of mentioned something they'd be talking about, and whatever it said made me immediately remember a video I'd seen several months ago about a guy who fell asleep at the wheel and hit another car head-on, killing a 30-year-old woman and her unborn child. Turns out, the 30-year-old victim's husband is the youth director at the church we've been going to. He looks a bit different now so I didn't even realize it was him on the video until I watched the video a few days ago. They played that video in church this past Sunday.

Here's a link to video if you'd like to watch it.

So anyway, we went, and wow! It was so amazing to hear the victim's husband (aka the youth director aka Erik) and the guy who fell asleep at the wheel (aka Matthew) talk. I really encourage you to watch the video. What a great story about forgiveness, and what great points Erik made about forgiving other people.

Basically, here's what the sermon was about...

Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing, and perfect will."

The world tells us that if we are wronged, we need to seek revenge. Perception is key. If we go with the perception the world has, we will always try to "get even" with those who have wronged us. However, we must be transformed by the renewing of our MINDS. We must have the perception of what the Bible tells us...

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15

The world tells us we have the right to be angry, bitter, and resentful, and we have the right to be a victim. But if we had the perception of what the world tells us, we'd always be angry and resentful. We'd always feel like a victim. Most of us probably feel wronged on a weekly basis. But, out of everyone who has ever walked this Earth, the ONE PERSON who even remotely has a right to claim victim DIDN'T:  Jesus. Instead, as he hung nailed to the cross, he asked God to forgive those who put him there. If Jesus can forgive THEM, we can forgive anybody.

Jesus also told us that we need to CONTINUALLY and COMPLETELY forgive. Forgiveness is not a one time thing; it's a daily decision, and it allows US (the forgivers) to live in complete freedom.

In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother when he sins against Peter. "Seven times?" And Jesus replies, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." People are not going to wrong us just once...not even just twice. Some people will wrong us over the course of our entire lives. But, it's our duty to forgive them, just as God forgives us of our sins on a daily basis. When someone hurts us over and over and over, it's really hard to forgive that person. But forgiveness is a gift we can give. It's a gift to ourselves as much as it is a gift to the person who wronged us. When we have anger in our hearts, that anger holds us back from our potential. And that anger isn't hurting the person who wronged us; it's only hurting ourselves.

At the end of the sermon, Erik prayed. Among other things, he prayed that he knew there were marriages hanging on by a thread, and the first step to repairing the marriage was one spouse forgiving the other, and he prayed that God would help that spouse forgive the other. I just felt something when he said that. I felt like he was talking about me. Chris' and my marriage has been very rocky the past couple of years. Several months ago, I felt like we struck gold and it finally "clicked" for both of us. But then a series of setbacks, and it was like we were back at square one. I am so uncertain about our future as a married couple. But I do know that I owe it to myself, to God, and to Chris to forgive him for what he has done to me and this marriage the last year. I have forgiven him and forgiven him and forgiven him some more...but that's ok because that's what God wants us to do. It doesn't mean that I am required to stay married to him. It doesn't mean I have to continue letting him hurt me and then forgive him every time. It just means that I need to finally let it all go. I need to free myself from all the pain and what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. And we'll see what happens. We'll see where God leads me. I'm handing it all over to Him and letting Him take full control...something I haven't done in a long time. And boy does it feel good to not have to worry! Only God knows what He wants of me, where He wants me to go...and it's time for me to start living by His guidance.